The MarySue
by MaybeEventually
Summary: Im pretty much making fun of the basic Marysue girl, so no offense to anyone.
1. There's something about MarySue

People told me what a Mary-Sure was! I've read 'bout 'em in heaps of stories! Man, they bug me so freakin' much! GAH! I didn't know they had a name for what you call 'em. God, I hate 'em! Did I already mention that? Anyway… I've made my own version to make fun of 'em. Not really making fun of I guess… Ponyboy just gets stuck being paired up with her for a science project… and she's highly accident proned (is that how its spelt? Or is that even a word? Either way she's very jinxy).

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, except the ones that aren't from the book.

P.S All of this is totally bullshit, like my car scene. But a lot of those kinda stories seem to be full of bullshit anyway.

PP.S No offence to anyone.

PPP.S Man this is the 3rd time i've had to freakin' put this story up! 1st time i accidently put my bro'z story up, 2nd it told me it didnt work, now this is the 3rd!

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I was in science obviously on this sunny Monday morning when a new girl was introduced to our class. I'll never forget when she worked in that door.

Her hair blew through the non-existent wind as she cutely popped her head through that door and said in an oh-so-sweet tone, "excuse me… Is this Mr Frankly's science class?"

Mr Frankly smiled at her, and I couldn't help but notice the glint in his eye as he spotted the gorgeous blonde. "Why, yes it is."

He somehow managed to tear his eyes away from her to the class, "students, I forgot to mention, we have a new student today. Her name is Mary-Sue Perkins." He then looked at her again and sighed almost lovingly, "please come in and introduce yourself."

She walked in as if it were while tossing her hair over her shoulder as she closed the door, and didn't realize her hair got caught.

She fell backwards as the door shut.

She began crying out in pain, "my hair! My hair!" Mr Frankly, rushed over to her to get her hair out the door.

All the guys sat back down in their seats, since they were going to help her. All the girls just immediately started whispering how cool she was (no, literally) and how they must hang out with her. Were they all blind or was I the only one to see this girl was a clutz?

She stood up, smiling and straightened out her mini skirt, which of course she had the figure for. All the guys were checking her out. Even some girls?

She walked across the room to the desk to introduce herself. Everyone sighed lovingly. For some reason though, she was walking in slow motion?

I was also the only one who happened to notice that.

"She's so hot," one guy whispered to his friend.

"What a doll!" A soc told his girlfriend.

"MY GOD! SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!" A guy yelled loudly in the background.

"Hello, I am Mary-Sue." She introduced herself. "I'm overly-friendly, yet also in a very shy and cute way. I make friends easily since everyone adores me, because I'm just oh-so wonderful."

All the guys sighed lovingly once again. I rolled my eyes.

Mr Frankly was so impressed he wiped a tear away from his eyes, "Mary-Sue…that was… the best introduction, I have ever heard in all my years of teaching."

Then some guy began clapping. Then everyone began clapping!

Then they all stood up, and cheered for her.

Of course she immediately became class president.

"Take a seat, Miss Perkins." Mr Frankly, said as everyone calmed down and took their seats.

Guys immediately began patting their empty seats, and some guys fought with each other. And another guy even pushed his own girlfriend off a seat to sit next to her!

"Oh, boys," she giggled, "don't fight over me. I'll just sit here." And she sat next to me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr Frankly then took out his book and opened it for the class plan today.

Since he wasn't looking guys began throwing notes at Mary-Sue. Then a guy in front of her threw one at her, and it got her in the eye.

"My eye! My eye!" She screamed in pain as it began to water.

I thought I should do the right thing to look at it for her. "It's fine."

She then smiled at me and fluttered her eye lashes, "oh thankyou. You're so brave and strong."

"What? I didn't do anything? I just looked at your eye?"

"And modest!" She giggled. I just stared back at her strangely. I could hear all the guys growling.

"What's your name?" She asked.

"Ponyboy Curtis."

"What an Oh-so perfect name!" She giggled again. God I wished someone would stab my ear drums with a pencil if I had to hear that giggle one more time!

"We're doing a science project class. Anything on your topic. I want you to all work in partners too." He then looked up.

Oh god, not with Mary-Sure, I begged god.

Mr Frankly started, "Mr Curtis. Since you're getting along so well with the perfect and may I say absolutely beautiful…" She giggled, AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!, "Miss Perkins. You can be her partner."

I felt my eye begin to twitch.

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So now I was walking to her house. Oh how fun this shall be.

Her house was run-down. I was surprised.

"We're poor," she stated simply, "very VERY poor. Mum has to work two jobs. It is oh-so sad." Really I didn't care. So I just nodded, "uh-huh."

Then a car came by speeding and happened to hit a puddle. The muddle water got all over her. Her eye-liner began to run. "I'm so cold now!" She shivered, "can I have your jacket?"

I looked at her even more strangely than I had in class, "but…I'm not even wearing a jacket?"

"Oh…your top will be fine then."

"You're not having my top."

"Why not? Every boy gives me his jacket? Or top, in your case."

"Does it really matter? Your house is RIGHT there!" I pointed at it.

She sighed, "FINE! I'd feel better though if someone put their arm around me…"

I just gave her another strange look and walked ahead.

"Ponyboy, wait!" I then heard her scream. I looked back and at least 3 birds had come by and pooped on her. It was in her hair and running down her nose.

"Is there something on my nose!" She squealed.

I just blinked a few times. "Um..yeah."

"Well, wipe it away," she said and closed her eyes.

"I ain't touchin' that!" I said.

"Fine!" I could tell her I was frustrating her, but of course she smiled afterwards. She wiped it away with her sleeve so now it was smeared across her cheek. Whatever.

We walked inside her house. Her mum was making dinner in the kitchen.

"My mum is a raging alcoholic," Mary-Sue told me, "so she's always passed out somewhere. She also ignores me a lot. She doesn't really care that her new husband always rapes and beats me."

I looked at her horrified, "eer…should you really be telling me something like that?"

She just shrugged.

Her mother came in carrying a tray of cookies, "oh, sorry kids. I hadn't heard you come in. I was vacuuming our study. Would you like some of our freshly baked home-made cookies? It's made with the special Perkins family recipe!" She grinned cheerfully, and tilted her head.

I smiled, "yes, please." And took one. They were great.

"What's the special recipe, mum!" Mary-Sue said bitterly, "alcohol!"

"Oh, you silly billy," her mother giggled, "the secret recipe is love."

We stepped out of the way when there was a knock at the door.

It opened and a man with a hat and expensive looking business suit opened the door, holding a briefcase.

"Honey, I'm home!"

She kissed his cheek, "how was your day, snookums?"

"Peachy-keen, dear," he grinned lovingly.

I leaned over to Mary-Sue and whispered, "I thought your mum was a raging alcoholic and your dad constantly hits you?"

"They are!" She said and pointed to them, "look at them!"

I patted her shoulder, "…okay?"

Mrs Perkins then called out to the rest of the family as Mr Perkins sat on the couch with his pipe and read a newspaper.

Two kids came down. A boy and a girl.

They stood in a straight line as Mrs Perkin's introduced them.

She introduced the pretty brunette first, "this is Daisy-Sue. She is 17 and too tough for her own good. She's not like normal girls and wilder then the greaser girls. No one can tame her. Will she ever let anyone into her heart though?"

I now looked at Mrs Perkin's strangely to how she introduced Daisy-Sue.

"And this is Gary-Stu." She pointed to her son.

Gary-Stu?

"He's 18 and is wild and reckless. Of course he's the best-lookin' guy in town. All the girls love him, and all the guys envy him…only because they're secretly jealous of his muscles and good looks and of course charm. But will he begin to fall in love with this new girl…the nerd who is actually beautiful under those thick glasses?"

"Are you asking me a question?" I asked.

She giggled, "oh, no silly. Rhetorical of course."

"Come on, Ponyboy, lets go to my room to study now!" She took my hand and raced upstairs.

She tripped though and slammed her face down on the stairs. My eyes widened.

"I'm okay," she stood right back up, giggling. SHUTUP!

We walked up to her room and when she opened the door I had to cover my eyes I was so blinded by the brightness.

Once I recovered I saw millions of trophies around her room. And how everything was pink?

She smiled and sat down at her desk.

I went to go check out her trophies. I read them aloud.

"1st place in 2nd grade spelling bee, 1st place in this year's beauty contest, 1st place in math competition, 1st place in science competition, 1st place in jump rope, 1st place in…potato slicing?"

"It was a special class," she smiled.

"Yeah…" I said running my eyes over the rest. God, she had won an award for basically everything.

She stood up and smirked proudly, then leant her elbow against the shelf. It made a creaking noise and I knew it was time to step back.

The shelf tilted and her trophies slid down towards her and hit her in the face.

She fell back and some smashed on the ground.

I knelt down next to her after they were done falling, to see if she was alright.

"You okay!" I asked, panicked.

"Oh, I'm fine," she giggled, as she sat up.

She then got some glue from nowhere and began reassembling the broken trophies back together, "It's okay about the trophies too. I happened to of one 1st place in reassembling trophies a year ago."

"You actually entered a contest on how to reassemble…trophies?"

"Yes," she smiled.

I picked up a trophy saying 1st place in auto-mechanics. I raised an eyebrow.

"Is there anything you haven't won a trophy for?" I asked.

Her mum then burst in holding a trophy and grinning wildly, "honey! You've just won an award for having won every contest there is in this town!"

"Oh, joy!" she grinned.

"Oh, jeez," I rolled my eyes.

"Ponyboy, will you be staying for dinner?" Mrs Perkins then asked me.

NOOOOOO!!!! Then I heard the phone rang.

"It's for Ponyboy!" Daisy-Sue called.

I went downstairs…how did anyone know I was even here?

I picked up the phone, "hello?"

"Pony!" It was Darry, "I'm caught in traffic, and there's noway I can pick you up today. Sodapop happens to be with me, so you'll have to stay at someone's house tonight since I don't want you being home alone."

"WHAT!" I yelled, "what about if Two-Bit came over?"

"He's in the car too."

"Johnny?"

"He's also in the car."

"Dally?"

"Yep, he's in the car too."

"Steve?!"

"Oh yeah he can look after you…oh no, wait. Yeah he's in the car too."

"How 'bout Tim or Curly Shepard?"

"Did I forget to mention they're in the car too?"

How many people can fit in that damn car!

"How 'bout the mailman!"

"Oh, Pony," he laughed, "we wouldn't let a stranger take care of you. Besides, he's in the car too."

I wasn't even going to bother to ask why.

"Is there anyone you can stay with for tonight? How 'bout the family you're with now. They're nice."

God just hates me doesn't he?

"Darry, I don't…"

"Don't argue with me! Oh, the traffic's moving! Bye Ponyboy!" He then hanged up.

Oh god. I night with the Perkin's.

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I extremely rushed this and wasn't in the mood for writing stories since I just helped my brother fix up his story with the punctuation and it was very tiring. I think It's 3 in the morning, so I'm tired and it's really hot. Man, Summer can really bug me sometimes.

Anyway, tell me if you want another chapter and I'll write one. Sorry if my Mary-Sue wasn't too Mary-Suey, I just tried the basic mostly, like how every guy finds her hot.

And yeah, I also think Ponyboy is extremely out of character.

And if people do want me to update, feel free to give suggestions on my little Mary-Sue, to make her even more Mary-Suey.

P.S I would just like to add that my review from Deleon helped a lot with this story.


	2. DaisySue without a cause

Thankyou so much for the reviews!!!!!!!!! I can't express how happy I felt readin' 'em, and that people actually found stuff I wrote, funny! Really, I didn't see it comin'! I'm surprised I got such a good response from Daisy-Sue and Gary-Stu, I hadn't expected anyone to mention them either. My favourite part was definitely the car scene, I'm glad other people liked that one too. Anyway… I focused mainly on Daisy-Sue this chapter.

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So somehow I now have to spend the night with this Family. I guess it wasn't all bad, they do seem really nice. I don't know how I can stand to be with Mary-Sue any longer though.

We're in her room doing the science project right now.

I had almost forgotten she was there, except for the fact everytime she turned the page of her book she got a paper cut, but otherwise I barely noticed her.

Then she gasped.

"Another paper cut?" I asked, sort of frustrated.

She looked at, then down at her finger, "well yes, technically. But while doing research on our topic… I think I've discovered a cure for the common cold."

"What!" I said shocked.

But then we heard her mother call out for dinner.

We went downstairs…Mary-Sue fell down them. But after she got up we went to the dinner table.

"It is so nice you'll be staying the night, Ponyboy," Mrs Perkins smiled at me, as she cut up her food.

I wasn't sure what to say so I just smiled and nodded.

"Oh, man not this again!" Daisy-Sue said as she walked over to us, and spotted the food.

She sat down next to me and began eating.

It was small chit-chat for a while, but then Daisy-Sue slammed his fists on the table.

"Vegetables! I hate vegetables!"

"Daisy-Sue," Mr Perkins said disapprovingly, "we do not say the 'H' word in this house."

"And please, dear don't be rude. We have a guest over. Just eat your veggies. You want to grow up to be big and strong don't you?" Mrs Perkins added.

"I'm not eating vegetables!" She screamed and stormed out.

Geez, was it really something to get that worked up over?

Mrs Perkins began crying and I felt really awkward being there.

"She's out of control!" Her mother cried, "she's becoming such a juvenile delinquent! Today not eating her vegetables…tomorrow, B- on her report card instead of straight A's!"

The family gasped. I rolled my eyes.

After the extremely awkward dinner we were sent to bed.

I slept in Mary-Sue's bed with her. I protested I should sleep on the couch or even the floor, but they insisted (for some strange reason) that she should sleep in the same bed as a hormone-raging 14 year old boy?

After Mary-Sue rolled off the bed at least 5 times, she had finally gone to sleep…on the floor thankfully.

Now that I was ready for some well deserved sleep to end a horrible day…she snores.

I sighed frustratingly and put her pillow over my face.

But then I heard a tap on the window.

I sat up and looked over.

Her sister was outside, and knocking on the window.

I got up and walked over to her. I opened the window.

How the hell did she get up here? This is the 2nd floor?

"I'm sneaking out, wanna come?"

"Why do you want me to go?"

"DO YOU WANNA GO OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Okay, fine, geez, relax!"

"Sorry, I'm such a feisty girl I don't know my onw temper…because I'm so cold and bitter on the inside from constant abuse."

What's with Daisy-Sue and Mary-Sue thinking they're always abused? They probably got grounded once, and assumed they were raped.

I climbed out the window with Daisy, and we then headed down the street.

she got a pack of gum out of her pocket, "you shouldn't be here Ponyboy, I'm trouble."

"What? But you invited me?"

"People would probably say I was the one who was a bad influence of you if turned to a life of crime."

"Why are you a bad influence."

"Because I break the law. I'm a rebel." She said, proudly. Then she dropped her gum paper on the ground.

"I'll probably get jail time for that."

"For what?" I looked down at the paper, "huh? For littering?"

"I'm so bad…I'm almost evil." She said, crossing her arms.

"I don't think you'll go to jail for that," I tried to tell her but she wasn't listening to me anyway.

Besides, a mustang was driving towards us, and only socs drive mustangs.

It stopped near us and 5 socs got out. We backed up a little.

"Hey, greasers!" A blonde soc yelled out to his.

"You know that blonde one," Daisy-Sue pointed to him, "he's raped me before.

I looked up at her shocked.

"And the brunette next to him, he's raped twice."

"Maybe we should run?" I suggested.

"And the other blonde guy behind me, he's raped me maybe 3 times or 4 times. And those two other guys, have raped me probably 3 times too. And that guy across the street, a few doors down, yep, he's also raped me."

"Why do you get raped so much?"

"I have no idea!" she said, as she opened her diary/planner.

"Hmm…tomorrow, walk through a dark deserted alley, after work in my short skirt, while there's a sex-craved soc convention going on there." She then closed her planner and turned to me, "seriously! I have no idea!"

I just shook my head, while staring strangely at her.

I looked back and the socs were really close now. I grabbed her arm, "run!" And we ran down the street.

We ran till we were out of breathe, but now they were running towards us.

"It's no use! They've surrounded us!" She panicked.

"They're 2 blocks away!"

"I have a plan!" She grinned.

"What is it?" I asked.

She got on the ground.

"How is that meant to help!" I yelled.

"Well, I guess it will save the socs time on trying to get us on the ground?"

I sighed frustratingly, "just get up, and run away!"

"You go, I think I can hold them off."

"ALL 5 OF THEM!"

"I think you're under-estimating how tough I am."

"You know, for someone so tough, you sure get jumped a lot?" I said raised an eyebrow.

"Hey greaser, wait!" The blonde one yelled coming towards us now.

"Run, Pony', run!" Daisy-Sue yelled.

"Have you got change?" He asked me, "our car broke down, and we need some spare change to use a pay-phone."

"Oh, sure," I laughed, feeling stupid, and reached into my pocket for some loose change.

"Run while you still can, Ponyboy!" Daisy-Sue yelled in the background, "do what you want with me Socs, but leave the kid alone!"

I handed them the change, as I looked back at her on the ground to give her a strange look.

"Thanks, kid," he said and walked off towards his car, with his friends. That didn't turn out how I expected.

"Wow, I guess you can't always assume that socs are gonna jump you, when they pull up next to you, huh," I laughed.

Daisy-Sue got off the ground and smirked proudly, "thankfully I got rid of them. They were gonna beat you up."

"Beat me up! Were you listening at all!"

She put her hand on my shoulder, "you can thank me later. But let's go home now." She looked at her watch, "it's way past my bed-time."

Bed-time?

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When I woke up in Mary-Sue's room, I was somehow on the floor.

I sat up and looked around… everything was gone?

Mary-Sue came into the room humming a cheerful tune.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up, "where did your furniture go?"

"Oh," she giggled. Man, that's something you really don't want to wake up too. "I gave it all away."

I once again gave her a strange look, "…why?"

"For the poor and unfortunates."

"Mary-Sue, we're greasers. We are the poor and unfortunates."

"You're such a silly sausage! There's poorer people than greasers! And they deserve my furniture so much more."

"Then what are you going to sleep on?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh…" she said, looking around, "I hadn't thought of that?"

Then Darry walked as if on cue, "I'm ready to pick you up, Ponyboy! How come this room doesn't have any furniture? Save the explanation! I'm guessing it's a bedroom, and there is no bed, so I insist you now come and live with us!"

"Oh, joy!" She grinned.

"WHAT!" My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Let's go then," she said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"This is crazy!" I yelled.

"Yes, crazy we didn't ask her to move in with us sooner!" Darry nodded.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Come on, Ponyboy," she giggled.

"Shouldn't we at least tell your parents then?" I said. God this was insane!

"Why would I need their permission? Besides, what kind of parents WOULDN'T want their youngest daughter living with a house full of boys?"

"Good point," Darry nodded.

"No it's not!" I yelled angrily.

God, now she'll be moving in with us! And I've barely even known her for 2 days!

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Hope you liked it. It's 'bout 2:30, in the morning. Why do I always write stories at this time of night? Anyway, I hadn't actually thought of Mary-Sue moving in with them – thankyou MrsHoldenCaulfield, you're always great for writer's block. And of course thanks to Fairlane too, who also suggested she should move in (im soooo sorry if i forgot anyone who happened to also mention it!!!!!!). So thanks to those suggestions, it was otherwise gonna end at Daisy-Sue. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up soon. Please review.


	3. MarySue moves in

Alright, finally I think I've come up with another stuff for the 3rd chapter. Sorry it's not like the others since im horribly running out of material. IDEAS!!!! HURRY!!! GIVE CLICHES!!!!!

P.S I really love Darry in this story. I dunno why? Maybe 'cause he's not actin' like his usual self like he does in all the other stories. Eh anyway…

PP.S I've gotten into a habit of writing down the time. The time is about 5:00 in the morning. Sorry if this chapter isn't funny. I'm very tired so this all seems funny to me lol.

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We got out of the car and I glared at Mary-Sue's back the whole time. She has her own family! We're already doing it rough and this will just make things worse! Was there even a point for her moving in?!

Darry walked over to the letter box before we went inside and looked at the bills. "Wow," was all he could say. "There's no way we can pay for these!"

"Then was it really smart to have another person move in with us?" I tried to say as gently as possible, as to not hurt Mary-sue's feelings.

Darry looked at me shocked, "Ponyboy! Of course we can't manage and you'd probably get sent away if the social workers knew I was taking care of another person! But never ever say Mary-Sue shouldn't have moved in with us! She's the best damn thing that's ever happened to us!"

"You don't even know her!" I said, wanting to explode. "Besides," I added, "if the bills are bad now. They're going to be even worse with another person!"

"It just means we need to start bringing in extra cash. Ponyboy how do you feel about whorin' yourself out to the neighbourhood girls?"

"WHAT!"

"We should get $50 bucks a girl, at least," he said with a grin, as if all our problems had been solved.

I just stared at him horrified, "are you out of your freaking mind!"

"Jeez, it was just a suggestion!" Darry said, rolling his eyes, "I'm sure Mary-Sue would do it. She'd do anything for this family."

"Oh, Darry," she giggled, "you are just oh-so sweet!"

"Then whore her out!" I crossed my arms stubbornly.

"No! Because I'm so over-protective of her." He smiled at her, "she's the only one who can get away with things in this family. I just can't resist that innocent smile."

"Like I freaking said before…YOU-DON'T-KNOW-HER!"

Darry ignored me though and walked to the front door with Mary-Sue. I stood behind them grumbling how miserable I was.

Sodapop answered the door and then his eyes windened when he saw Mary-Sue.

"My god…" he said barely above a whisper.

She fluttered her eye lashes at him, and giggled. Her hair blew in the wind and he stared dumbly at her, with his jaw on the ground.

I looked at the both of them…no…no…NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Sodapop!" I pushed past Darry and Mary-Sue.

I waved my hand in front of his face, "snap out of it!!!"

"She's so beautiful," he said, his eyes twinkling.

I turned off the fan next to him so her hair stopped blowing.

"You have a girlfriend!" I yelled trying to bring him back to reality.

"I'm Mary-Sue," she said, still fluttering her eye lashes.

"I'm…I'm…Ponyboy what's my name?"

"This is so stupid!" I yelled angrily and stormed off into the lounge.

"Sodapop," he finally said. I rolled my eyes.

The two flirted and giggled. I wanted to be sick.

Darry came between the two and put his arms around them, "looks like we should start planning the wedding."

"Wedding!" I yelled shocked.

"Oh no, we're much too young. Besides, we can wait." Mary-Sue said, smiling oh so sweetly at Sodapop.

I turned the tv on to ignore them.

"I can wait for eternity, for you," he said, taking her hand.

I grabbed the remote and turned the tv up.

"Something's not right…" Darry said pondering.

"What's not right?" Sodapop asked.

Darry looked around the room, while rubbing his chin then his eyes landed on the arm chair, "I know!"

He sat on the chair, and got his newspaper. "Everything feels right again with this scene."

"No… Shouldn't you be at work?" Sodapop asked.

Darry laughed, "I come home sometimes Sodapop. And when I am home, all I do is sit on this arm chair with the newspaper of course."

Sodapop and Mary-Sue laughed, "of course!"

I rolled my eyes again. They were all acting insane!

"Ponyboy, that reminds me. Mary-Sue is now taking your room. You must sleep on the couch."

"What! Why can't she sleep on the couch!"

Darry shook his head disapprovingly at me, "do I really need to answer why?"

"Yes!" I yelled.

He just shook his head again disapprovingly and continued reading his newspaper.

I tilted my head, looking at him strangely. There's just no point to argue. They're all gone crazy.

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So now here we are at the dinner table. Sodapop and Mary-Sue were sitting next to each other flirting and giggling.

It was hard to keep my damn food down, hearing those too.

Darry then decided to speak to us. "Now… while Mary-Sue's living here it is going to be harder to support 4 people, but I think we can manage."

The lights all blacked out.

"But that means we all have to make a few sacrifices," Darry continued, "no more hair grease or smokes."

"WHY!" I yelled outraged.

"So we can buy a whole new wardrobe for Mary-Sue of course…duh!" Darry rolled his eyes. So did Soda. Darry went on, "even possibly hire a decorator too for her room. I'm thinking pink walls, pink carpet, pink curtains."

"But her room is my room!" I yelled.

"God, Ponyboy, stop being so selfish!" Darry yelled.

"Yes, Ponyboy," Sodapop added, "we're all very ashamed of you."

I grumbled, "god this sucks."

Then there was a tap on the window. A woman was standing out there staring at us, with thick glasses. "Hello…I'm Beth, the social worker… Just wondering if you're doing anything illegal in there…"

"No," Darry and Sodapop said at the same time.

"Who's that girl?" She asked.

"Nobody…" they said.

"Oh…alright," she said cheerfully, and left.

I gave them all strange looks. Those social workers really suck if they're that blind.

Darry went on though with his talk, "I've also started this jar," he sat up on the table, "we all must put a dollar in each day."

"Why?" I asked.

"It will go towards Mary-Sue's college fund."

"We're going to send her to college!"

"Of course, why wouldn't we?"

"She has her own family to send her to college!"

"Ponyboy…we're her family now. She's like the sister…or even daughter I've always wanted. Which is sorta creepy since Sodapop likes her, but besides from that. She's family."

"What about me? I thought you wanted me to go to college?"

"We have more important things now to worry about, Pony'. Like Mary-Sue."

"Why is it all about Mary-Sue?!" I yelled, standing up.

"Why can't it be all about Mary-Sue?" He asked. Scary thing was…he was serious.

"She's not related to us what so ever! Get it through your head!"

"Oh, Ponyboy, there just words," Mary-Sue said, "you can't actually put them inside his head." I gave her a strange look.

Darry and Sodapop burst out laughing.

"God, Mary-Sue you are so funny!" Darry laughed.

"You should do stand up!" Sodapop said, holding his sides, tears forming at his eyes he was laughing so hard.

"I'm going to my room!" I yelled, and stormed off.

"You mean 'couch'," Darry corrected me.

"WHATEVER!" I yelled and layed down on it. When will this nightmare end!

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Thankyou so much for the reviews! I'll be using some previous ideas into the next chapter.

Stay tuned for the next chapter… Mary-Sue will be meeting the rest of the gang.


	4. Not Another Teen Character

Howdi, I'm back again for this 4th chappie. I have boring replys to some reviewers at the end…gee, how exciting! I'm horribly running out of material, so I thought it was time to add in a new Mary-Sue cliché character! So I thought to myself what other characters are there usually in Mary-Sue. Then it came to me… it won't truly be a Mary-Sue fic till I add…MYSELF! Don't worry, only one appearance of me and then you'll never ever have to see little ol' me again.

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I woke up from the loud sound of laughter coming from my room. I tried to ignore it, but it just kept coming in louder and louder. It was time to check it out.

I got off the couch and walked towards my room, then opened the door. There I saw Mary-Sue sitting up in my bed, with the blanket on her, telling the end of a joke to… the whole gang?

They were all surrounding her, like a pack of hungry dogs, and she was the fresh meat. I couldn't tell if they were interested in her, or the way her top was hanging off her shoulder. Come on, jeez, they act as if they've never seen flesh before!

I looked across at the time, 7:00 in the morning!

"What are you all doing here at this time!" I said, confused and frustrated.

They all looked at me, noticing I had walked into the room for the first time, then they all just shrugged.

"Lucky, we did though, otherwise we wouldn't have met this precious angel," Two-Bit sighed lovingly, his eyes now probably permanently glued to her.

Wait…precious angel?

"Oh, Keith," she giggled, her eyes turning blue. That was strange? Weren't they brown?

"Keith!" I said shocked. Nobody called him that! How did she even know.

"I love it when you call me, Keith," he sighed lovingly again.

"Back off she's mine!" Sodapop said angrily.

"What!" Steve yelled, utterly shocked, "she's mine! Me and Mary-Sue shared something very special just before!"

"And that would be?" Darry asked.

"Our eyes met when I first noticed her and she smiled. It was magical."

"That was beautiful man," Johnny said, wiping a tear away to what Steve had said.

Dally began to slowly clap and the rest of the guys began to clap too.

"Stop it!" I yelled angrily, "enough with all the clapping!"

They looked at me as if I had grown another head.

"I'm going out," I said, grumbling under my breath as I walked away.

I left my room…Mary-Sue's room and opened the front door.

"Ponyboy, wait!"

I turned around and Mary-Sue was walking towards me, dragging Johnny along with her.

"Where you going?" she asked.

I shrugged, "movies I guess. That's all I ever seem to do in these stories. Or read a lot."

She nodded, agreeing.

"Can I come?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes. Johnny blushed behind her, watching her.

"Do you have to?" I sighed.

She looked down sadly.

I sighed frustratingly, "fine. Just don't bug me."

She grinned, "yay! Johnny will come to."

"Actually I didn't…" Johnny tried to say but Mary-Sue interrupted him, "I always have to talk for him since he's so quiet all the time."

"Always? You only met him today?"

"Yet, I know him so well," she smiled. "Like when you tap this certain part of Johnny's neck, he will immediately fall over." She tapped the back of Johnny's neck, just under the collar of his t-shirt and Johnny fell to the ground.

He looked up at her from the ground amazed, "wow! That's incredible! I didn't even know that!"

I stared at her suspiciously, "what else do you know?"

"I know a lot. Like that rash of yours isn't going to go away unless you buy some cream for it."

How could she of known about that! "Let's just go to the movies," I said a little freaked out.

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We were sitting there watching the movie when I had a sudden urge for popcorn. I got up and told them.

"I'll come to," Mary-Sue said, standing up. Why does she have to follow me everywhere!

"You want anything Johnny?" I said, trying to be calm.

He shook his head, looked at Mary-Sue then blushed, and smiled a little. He looked at the movie.

"Lets go then," I said walking away, with her tagging along close behind.

We walked up to the snack bar and noticed nobody was around.

I knocked on the counter, looking around for someone, "hello?"

"Maybe they're watching the movie too?" Mary-Sue suggested.

I turned around to face her, "that's stupid."

"Hello!"

I turned around and jumped. A girl was standing there, smiling. How the hell did she get there so quick!

"Sorry," she said, sipping on a coke, "I was out watching the movie."

"Okay…" I said, a little wierded out.

"So what would you guys like?" She asked.

I was about to tell her, when I noticed her name tag.

"Fragile-Ego? Your name is Fragile-Ego?" Ponyboy cocked an eyebrow, staring at the girl strangely.

"Well, you're name is Ponyboy! I don't think it's that strange." She said, shrugging.

"How did you know my name?" Does everyone know everything about me!

"Maybe she's from the future," Mary-Sue smiled cheerfully, as if what she had said didn't sound at all insane.

"The future!" I said, shocked that she would even suggest something so crazy!

"Actually…" Fragile-Ego started.

"Can I just order what I want now? We're missing the movie," I said irritatingly.

She glared at me, "how rude! Let me finish what I was going to say!"

"We're trying to teach him better manners," Mary-Sue sighed, shaking her head.

"What!"

"So anyway," Fragile-Ego continued, "I was at home, reading The Outsiders when suddenly a bright light came from the book, and zoom! I was here! Weird, huh?"

"So… you're saying… you were reading a book… and then the book sucked you inside?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Yep," she grinned, then pointed to other employees standing around that I hadn't noticed before, "she was watching the movie when the tv sucked her in. That other guy was reading the book like me. And that blonde girl, was in a car crash and woke up here."

Then her eyes widened staring at me, "ohmigosh! You're Ponyboy!"

"I know… you knew that too? Remember? You told me my name?"

"I have to call my friends!" She said, excitedly and got out a small rectangle thing. She pressed buttons on it, then held it against her ear.

She then stared at it, "no aerial?" She said confused, and began to wave it around.

"Can we just get some food!" I tried hard not to yell.

"Wait… wait, just a second," she said, still waving it around. It was obvious we weren't going to get served.

"Let's go back and finish watching the movie," I told Mary-Sue and we walked away, while Fragile-Ego hadn't even noticed, still waving that thing around in the air.

We heard her cussing and yelling at it in the distance.

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In the next one… Daisy-Sue comes back!

Sorry if this ain't very funny, you all know I'm running out of material and jokes. And I did take some of the suggestions, if the people who suggested them had noticed.

MrsHoldenCaulfield, I wanted to use your "orbs" staring down at them, that you had suggested ages ago, but my story hadn't worked out the way I had it originally planned.

Just Playin, if you had noticed I took your advice and turned it to a parody!

Tourmaline, Gary-Stu will eventually get in there. Gotta find him a story line it first though.

Chronic Sarcasm, great suggestion with the knock up thing! I will eventually get around to using it.


	5. Caught in the Snow

Okay, if you read my reviews, you'll know I had wrote a new chapter, but then I stuffed my computer up… the one I write stories on. Unfortunately, some of my files went missing, including all the chapters to The MarySue… weird, huh? Along with that went missing Ponyboy's Confusing Dream, and also Caught under the Covers. So some of the jokes I had written in there will be put back in this (if I can remember them all)… and some of 'em will leave to make an appearance in a future chapter.

P.S **THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS! It really helped me to finally get motivated and write a reasonably long chapter.**

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Me, Johnny, and Mary-Sue were walking out of the movies.

"Have you ever noticed that it never snows here?" I commented.

"Yeah, it's like it's summer 24/7 here," Johnny, said casually, with a shrug. He lifted the collar up his jacket, while with a mysterious extra hand, lit up a smoke in his mouth.

"Maybe… it doesn't snow here?" Mary-Sue suggested. "The author of this, comes from Australia. It doesn't even snow there during their winter… unless you go to the mountains or somethin', but god, who wants to take a couple of hours drive, just to see snow!"

"Yeah… she really wouldn't have any idea whether it did snow in Tulsa. For all she could know, she may think it only snows in certain areas." Johnny said, shrugging once again, "but hey, it's her story, she can do what ever she wants with it."

Suddenly it began to snow.

I looked at the sky strangely, "now that's just crazy! It's June!"

"Yes… but that's normally winter in Australia," Mary-Sue smiled.

"Oh…" Johnny said thinking it over.

"Alright, shutup!" I yelled, getting frustrated all over again, "I don't want to hear about the god damn author and neither does anyone else! People go to this, to read about the characters from the book! Not to read about the author added as some long lost sister or whatever!"

"But how else is there supposed to be any romance?" Mary-Sue asked, winking suggestively at me.

I stared at her, my eye slightly twitching, and then i cringed in disgust. But I continued on, "there were girls in the book too!"

"But I didn't like those girls, so what else do you suggest?" Mary-Sue smirked, thinking she had out smarter the ever so smart me… did I just think ever so? Why do I constantly narrate my own life like this? Hmm, I should become a philosopher?

"Um.." I thought thinking it through, "I dunno.. I guess romance doesn't have to be limited to just heterosexual relationships."

"Where in the book was it suggested there was any kind of gay relationship between the characters?"

"Where in the book was it suggested there was any long lost sister?"

We noticed the snow suddenly began to fall more heavily, instead of just light snowflakes. Also in that short time, possibly 10 minutes, a couple of hours had actually passed, and it was now night time.

"We better get home," Mary-Sue stated, "it's 10:30 at night. Darry is gonna kill us if we're home late."

"You would know that how?" Johnny asked her, but she ignored him.

I also gave her a strange look, "how do you know it's 10:30?"

She coyly smiled, "do you see that twig on the ground? Over there laying on that pile of snow?"

I looked down at it, oh yeah, there it is. "So?"

"The small leaf on the top of the branch is slowly beginning to die."

"Point being?"

"When it crumbles, it will be facing north."

"And?"

"It will point to that ant crawling over there."

"And…"

"The ant is carrying a bread crumb. Possibly from raisin toast." 

"And…!"

"The ant would have gotten that from a table… from inside a house. And may now be carrying that back to his home, to feed his starving family."

"Don't ants collect food just to feed the queen?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, simple minded, Johnny," Mary-Sue said shaking her head, with a small smile, "that all ties in with this. Do you see next to the ant? It is a small rock."

"WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH KNOWING WHAT THE TIME IS!" I yelled, almost practically blowing steam from my ears I was so angry and frustrated.

"What? Oh, I have a watch," Mary-Sue smiled.

My eye twitched, "lets just go home."

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By the time we got down to my house, the snow had fallen so heavily; we were knee deep in it. Surprisingly though, none had landed on anyone's lawn, or on the road.

"It's good to be home," Mary-Sue grinned.

"Sure is," Johnny grinned.

"You don't live here?" I commented.

"Oh… that's right… for now anyway," Johnny looked around shiftily, "I won't be moving in till it's necessary for the slash plot."

"What!" I asked, confused.

"Oh… nothing…" Johnny, began to smirk devilish to himself.

I've never seen Johnny smirk like that. In fact I don't think I've ever heard him talk so much in just one night?

"Let's just go inside, to get out from the cold," Mary-Sue said, "I'm freezing!" She then walked towards our mailbox, hitching her very small mini skirt up even higher.

I rolled my eyes.

As soon as she stepped onto our lawn however, a big spot light came down on her from the room, and glowing lazers of all colours shot up from the grass, and were zooming around everywhere. To top this all off a loud siren went off.

I covered my ears, to block out the deafening noise, and squinted my eyes, to try and adjust to the suddenly incredibly bight flashing lights. "WHAT'S GOING ON!" I yelled to Johnny, trying to hear myself over the noise. "WHY WOULD I WANT A BANANA!" Johnny screamed back. I gave him a strange look.

The houses in our street, had heard all the commotion, and lights were being flicked on inside their homes. They came trudging out onto the street, only wearing pyjamas, night gowns, and the occasional leather dominatrix outfit.

"What's going on!" Mr Baker yelled at me, from down the street, "I have a very important work meeting in the morning, so I need my sleep!"

"YEAH!" The neighbourhood chanted behind her, now suddenly carrying flaming torches and large pitch forks.

Then Mrs Davidson began yelling also at me, while trying to support her two crying babies in her arms, "I just got them to sleep and then all of this racket has to go off! It'll be at least 4 days before I can get them back to sleep!"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" I tried yelling at them, but they just kept screaming, "we need sleep! We need sleep!"

Darry then burst out the door, carrying a large blanket.

"Darry, what's going on!" I yelled to him.

"Thank god, you're home! It's late and I've been worried sick!" He yelled frantic, tears streaming down his face, and bald patches were visible on his head, from obvious worry.

Wow, I didn't know he truly cared that much. Maybe I don't use my head enough? Maybe I should become more responsible, and try even harder at school. So I can go to college, and fulfil everything that Darry has been working so hard for me to become.

…Then he wrapped the blanket around Mary-Sue, hugging her, and crying on her shoulder.

Fine, screw everything I just thought!

"What is all this Darry?" She asked, smiling innocently, fluttering her eye lashes, not seeming to care at all about his worry.

"Oh," he said standing up and getting a remote from his pocket. He pressed a button and the loud siren, and flashing lights all disappeared.

He grinned, "it's my new home alarm system to notify me whenever you come home, after curfew." He smiled, tilting his head, "nothing's too good for Mary-Sue."

He then looked around at all our angry neighbours and yelled, "I'm sorry for waking you all up. But, don't worry… Mary-Sue is safe."

They all then looked at each other strangely, and lowered their pitchforks and flaming torches, "are you sure?"

"Yes," he said, sighing with relief, "she's going to be alright."

"Thank god," an elderly woman said. The neighbours all nodded, smiling, and returned to their homes.

If I tried to figure that one out… I may lose my grip on reality… so I decided to sort out another issue.

"How did you afford all this?" I asked, talking about the sirens, lasers, etc…

"I sold blood," Darry said, showing me his arm, with several cotton wool buds, taped to his arm.

"Ohmigod, are you okay!" I asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He said, grinning still, "I'm fantastic now that Mary-Sue is back, and she is safe."

He then wobbled a little, and stared out into space, "what's that Lenny? Buy Mary-Sue more gifts… but I don't think I have any money left… yes… sell more blood."

I walked up to him and slapped him across the face to snap him out of it. "You've given too much blood! You need to rest." He nodded, and we all went inside.

I was ready to go to sleep on the couch, when we heard screaming suddenly outside.

The gang, who was still at my house, and my brothers all ran outside, I followed after them.

There laying on the ground was a beaten and bruised Daisy-Sue.

"Daisy-Sue!" Mary-Sue appeared out of nowhere and ran to her sister's mangled corpse. "Are you okay!"

Daisy-Sue looked worse than the day we found Johnny laying in that lot, almost dead.

She tried to speak, but instead began coughing up blood.

"Two-Bit!" Darry yelled to him, "do you know anything about first aid? This girl needs help!"

"No, Darry," he said. He then rolled up his sleeves, "yet, I do however, have a certificate 2 in medicine and medical procedures. Step back."

We all made room for Two-Bit while he knelt down beside Daisy-Sue and began to look her over.

"She's been beaten pretty badly… soc's I presume."

"Those bastards!" Sodapop yelled, fighting back tears, and Steve held him for comfort.

Two-Bit continued, "yes.. a fractured wrist, bruised eye, possible her ribs have been broken and bruised also, nice boobs however."

He stood up. Darry took a deep breath and gave Two-Bit a stern look, "was it rape?"

"Most definitely."

"What makes you think she was raped?" I asked.

"Ponyboy… she's a good looking greaser. Why wouldn't she get raped? A fine girl like that, probably gets pounced on by at least 7 socs, before she can even leave the front gate of her house."

I rolled my eyes, and sighed, "is she going to be alright?"

"A bandaid should do it," Two-Bit nodded, looking her over again.

"God, look what we should do… and is the smart thing to do, is that we should take her to the hospital." I suggested.

Darry shook his head, "I have a better idea."

"That is?" I asked.

"She'll move in with us."

"How will that help?"

"Oh, Pony, it just will! Now help me pick her up, so we can lay her down on the couch… by the way that's her new room, you're going to have to find somewhere else to sleep."

"Now you're taking away the couch from me!" I yelled.

"Oh, Pony, stop complaining, there's still a perfectly good dog house in the back yard."

"Why do we have a dog house if we don't have a dog?"

He ignored me however when Daisy-Sue began to speak. "Ponyboy…" she began to whisper weakly.

Aw, jeez, why does it have to be me.

I sighed frustratingly and knelt down beside her, "what?"

"I'm in pain…" she weakly told me.

"Darry's going to help you."

She then worked up enough strength to push me away roughly, "I don't need his help! I don't need anyone's help!" She then tried to sit up, but she began to groan loudly in pain, and cough up more blood.

"No… I think you do need our help."

"No! I'm a tough greaser! I don't need anyone's help!" She then tried to stand, but she began to wobble, and she fell to the ground again.

I rolled my eyes. "Look, you seriously do need help. Get over this whole pride thing."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR GOD DAMN SYMPATHY OR HELP!"

Dally then knelt down beside her. "Can I help you?"

Her eyes widened, and began to glitter, "of course…"

He picked her up and carried her inside, and layed her down gently onto my couch.

"I need to take a shower," I said, frustratingly, as all the guys ran around to get her things like pillows, drinks, blankets, food, etc…

I went to the bathroom and turned on the hot water to take the shower. I took off all my clothes and hopped in.

I squirted shampoo into my hand, and began to rub it into my hair. I hummed quietly to myself, when I noticed someone had joined in on the song… and was washing my back!

I turned around, "Curly!"

He jumped, "Pony, you frightened me!" He then chuckled.

"What are you doing here!" I yelled.

He shrugged, "well… I'm never mentioned in stories that much. It wouldn't kill you to at least visit once and a while either! You know, so maybe some interesting plot can be started between you and me! But nooo, it's always gotta be you and Johnny, or you and your brothers!"

"I'm sorry, Curly, it's just… you were mentioned, what like, twice, in the book? You just weren't a major character."

"Pfft, neither was Buck Merill. Yet, all I ever read is, 'we're heading over to Buck's' 'I heard he was at Buck's' 'wild parties at Buck's'. When is Buck never brought up in a story! Hmm!" He then pouted and crossed his arms.

"Look, lately people have been trying to make more of an effort to bring you up. You've just gotta be patient."

"Yeah…" He sighed, "but god, I hate waiting!"

"I know, I know," I said patting his shoulder, "…now get out. This isn't a slash."

He got out, grabbing a towel and then turned back to me, "this is a Fragile-Ego story. Some sort of slash, even if it's incredibly mild like this, HAD to be put in somewhere."

"I know," I smiled, nodding.

Curly then left… and was never mentioned in this story again.

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When I came out of the shower, Daisy-Sue was sitting on the table, laughing and giggling. She appeared perfectly fine! If anything better?

What happened to the cuts and bruises!

"Daisy-Sue…she's fine!" I yelled, completely shocked.

"Yeah…she healed," Steve said, rolling his eyes.

"But it's been only about 7 minutes!"

"Yeah? What's strange about being able to heal completely in only 7 minutes with no doctors to even help?" Darry asked me.

Dally sat down by her feet and began to rub them, looking up at her adoringly, taking such care, that he wouldn't even show a small fragile kitten.

"How are you feeling now, by the way?" Dally asked her.

"Fine… except…"

All the guys jumped to their feet, surrounding her to the point they were almost suffocating her. Sodapop began to cry again, "what is it! Please tell us! We'll promise to try and make everything better!" 

Daisy-Sue then sighed, looking down, "well..before they attacked me…"

"Conveniently outside our house…" I mumbled under my breath.

"I had a happy meal from… you know, that fast food place… and… they… they… STEPPED ON IT!"

"Those monsters!" The guys all yelled.

I sighed, shaking my head, the Sue curse has struck again.

"I know," the supposedly tough greaser, began to cry, "even stole that little toy you get with it!"

"I love those toys," Dally said, sighing.

"Don't worry!" Johnny yelled, with a sudden burst of unusual confidence, "I'll go get you another happy meal!"

"No I will!" Two-Bit yelled.

"Na-uh, me!" Steve hollered.

"Not if I get there first!" Sodapop yelled, running outside.

"Dang!" Darry yelled, chasing after him, to get that happy meal first.

Pretty soon all the guys had run out to get that happy meal… except Dally, Mary-Sue, and me. Unusually Mary-Sue hadn't been mentioned in a long time, which meant she had gone to bed.

Dally took her hand, "don't worry, we'll find those socs and teach 'em a lesson they'll never forget! I don't care if it takes me 10 years to find the socs who did this to you! They will pay! Oh, I swear, they will definitely pay! I will camp out in soc territory day and night, trying to find them. I don't care if I get beaten up constantly by them out numbering me. I'll go to every damn door if I have to, just to find them! Oh, and when I do find them… I'll tie 'em up, and make them watch as I kill their family in slow torturous way… and we're talkin' real sick torture! Like cutting off limbs with blunt butter knives, and scooping out their eyes with toothbrushes! That's not even half as bad as what I'm going to do those socs who beat you up! By the way my name's Dally."

She giggled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh… Dally… I think I'm in love with you. But… it's just too soon for me to be falling in love with a tough hood like you. Also… I'm not sure if I can love, with my cold icy heart, from constant years of abuse."

"Oh, Daisy-Sue, me too, I thought I could never love! But when my eyes laid upon you're bruised, cut up body… I knew it was love."

"Dally," she began to cry again, "its… it's just too soon!" And she ran off quickly, into the night.

Yet, she came back, only a few seconds later. "Chase after me, Dally!"

He looked up at the clock, "it's getting kind of late isn't it?"

"Yeah… you're right. Let's head to bed." She walked back inside, but Dally first went to the bathroom.

"What a man…" she sighed lovingly, walking over to me. Why have I just been standing here this whole time?

"He's so handsome…"

My eyes almost popped out my head, "what are you blind! The man looks like some kind of elf!"

"A dreamy elf… that all the girls want."

"He looks rather scary to me, actually?" I said, thinking it over.

"Oh, Ponyboy, you'll never understand love."

I shrugged, "like I mentioned in the book, I'm just not that interested in girls yet."

"So you say now… but just wait till a girl from out of nowhere appears… and you fall madly in love."

"Uh-huh…" I said, heading towards the backdoor…for bed.

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Wow, that took me hours to write! **But in the next chapter** **The Outsiders will be told all over again! Except of course with the addition of Mary-Sue tagging along.** Will anything change? Who will they meet along the way? More clichés? Maybe they'll run into Gary-Stu… And what will happen to the gang while Pony, Johnny and Mary-Sue are away?… They'll find a baby on their front step of course!

Lots more clichés coming!


	6. Queer as Ponyboy

Thanks so much for all the reviews! Sorry I took so long again to update but hopefully it was worth it. If you hadn't got the reference, the title is from the show 'Queer as Folk'.

Normally I plan out a bunch of jokes, then write. But this time I'm just gonna wing it. So hopefully it turns out half decent.

P.S In this I put in a lot of mistakes Mary-Sue's often make, so don't start flaming me screaming, "it's not that, you idiot!" 'Cause I purposely did it.

PP.S I kinda added a joke at myself in there… See if you can spot it… well if you're a person who reads my reviews in Bad Influence.

PPP.S In the new Charlie and The Chocolate Factory movie, in the glass elevator there's a room called, "fragile egos." How cool is that?

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I had been at the hospital all day reading to under-privileged, fashion-challenged orphans, and it was getting late so I decided to go home. As I leaned against my car in the parking lot, I had only one thing on my mind: a ride home. I was wishing I looked more like- aw, who we kidding! I'm gorgeous!

I would describe what I look like, but that appears to change every chapter. If you haven't guessed, I am Mary-Sue. Ponyboy took a break narrating for a bit since no one can grasp the concept of changing points of view. So now I'm here.

I decided to just walk home.

I was new to the town. I worried about not fitting in and I felt isolated and alone amongst this place. Even when I made heaps of friends and got a few boyfriends before I met Ponyboy, things still felt rough. But I guess that's just how things are when you're the new chick in town. You're seen as fresh meat amongst all the boys and a threat to all the girls. But I guess that's just how things go when you just moved in 7 years ago.

I live in Tulsa. A town that's split into two with it's social classes. One side are the rich kids who are stuck up… they're called the soc's. Abbreviation for the Society's.

On the other side is my side. We're the greasers. The super, really really, cool, and totally awesome and amazing kids, who live on the East side. We're friendly and kind and everyone loves us because we're all so great and happy, and life just can't get any better if you're a greaser. Why else would all the new girls in town move here to the poor side and date all the cute guys here? See. It's a great place to live! Life just couldn't get any better.

That is… until I met the greaser's. Yes, they're a gang. Named the greasers. Since moving in with them, I've really come to know the greasers and find out a lot about them. They're all so special to me and I can't imagine what life would be like without them now. Thinking about them… I can come up with a million things describing how cool they are and how much they love me.

First, is Darry. He's 20 and works a lot. He treats me like his little sister.

Then there is Sodapop. He's so great and funny, and handsome. That's why all the girls love him so much and follow him around. It really gets them jealous that he only loves me and would do anything for me. They all cry and scream, but he loves me and only me. Because he's so in love with me. We're so alike it's scary. Both beautiful blondes, with brown eyes and happy-go-lucky, fun personalities. We always have hangovers in the morning because of how drunk we got off life the night before together.

Steve, is Sodapop's bestfriend and loves me.

Two-Bit, is hilarious! And loves me.

Dally is a tough hood, but I'm like his kid sister. The whole gang looks at me like that, like how they look at Johnny as a kid brother. Dally could never hurt me. He'd beat up Ponyboy for sure… but never me. Because he loves me.

Now there's Johnny. He's small and quiet and doesn't talk much. He can always talk to me though about his problems and fears. He can sit there for hours listening to me talking about my hair or clothes and watches me when I sleep. He's so sweet.

Ponyboy likes to read a lot and watch sunsets. I also enjoy reading and watching sunsets. In fact I'm the one who taught him how to draw. And read. Also to pee standing up. Ponyboy and me… we're close.

Over the past few weeks, being with them, they had given me my own nickname. I was so honoured to be given a nickname by them. It was oh so sweet, and flattering. Two-Bit thought of it, which only made sense since he was the only one in the gang to have a nick name to describe himself. The name they chose was perfect. It said I was beautiful, intelligent, loved by all and kind to everyone. It really did suit me and soon everyone caught onto it and was calling me by it, it was that catchy.

They nicknamed me… Mary.

So anyway, I was walking home when I spotted a car trailing behind me. I walked slower, to catch a glimpse of them in their car, in case I ever had to describe them to police. I still couldn't see them that well but they were definitely closer.

I then lifted up my skirt to see if I could catch their reflection on my smooth thighs. They were only blurs. But I knew, glossing my legs last night was a good idea.

They were very close now and had even stopped the car. I took off my top to try and make smoke signals on the side walk for help. Sadly though, I didn't have enough time to make a fire because 12 guys pinned me down.

Now, normally 12 guys can't fit into a car. But what I hadn't noticed was there were several other cars trailing behind the one I saw. Yes, I thought it was very sneaky too.

"Sex!" The guys chanted while another one cried, "I'm 23… and this will be the first and only time I may have sex." Another guy wiped away his tears nodding. 

They continued to hold me down for at least 10 minutes, just staring at me blankly. "Well…" A blonde boy said, "what now?" "I really don't know. I didn't expect to get this far." They got off me, and huddled, discussing what information they knew. But it was too late, since Darry's tracking device he had planted on me had already alerted him and he was now on his way with the gang.

"Ohmigod! Greasers!" One screamed. The socs all began running to their cars and speeding off.

Darry knelt down beside me, holding me up and hugging me tightly, "are you okay!"

"I was so scared. I thought maybe in another 15 minutes I may have gotten raped."

Daisy-Sue was there too, and she sat down beside me also, "oh, your first almost rape. You're growing up into a beautiful young prey for hungry desperate men to jump on. I couldn't be more proud."

I wiped away tears, just now noticing I had been crying. I stood up and brushed myself off, "I'll be okay. Let's just thank god it's over for this week at least."

The boys all nodded, and Ponyboy looked around at them all strangely, and then we sat down again.

"I'm going to the drive-ins," Dally said out of the blue, while lighting up a smoke. "Who will come with?"

"Me," I said immediately, "me, Johnny and Ponyboy will too."

"Do I have to?" He groaned.

"How else will our romance in this story begin Ponyboy?" I tilted my head.

"There won't be any romance between you and me! God, why can't people just realize I'm not interested in girls yet! I even said it in the book! NOT INTERESTED! And no, this does not give any proof that I'm actually gay!"

Johnny looked at him strangely and leaned over to me, whispering, "he's still in denial."

"I am not!"

"Denial," Johnny nodded once again, sadly.

"So it's decided," Dally grinned cheerfully, "we'll skip straight to the scene where we're at the drive-ins!"

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At the drive-ins… And thankfully back in Ponyboy's point of view.

So we sat in those seat things at the drive-ins, 'cause we had no car. Sure, Mary-Sue got offered a lot of times to seat in someone else's car, but she just giggled and said, she'd rather be with us. Johnny giggled and Dally blushed, giggling as well.

As we waited for the movie to begin and the previews played, Johnny picked up a guitar from the ground and faced Mary-Sue. Smiling and playing a tune, "I think this is the perfect time to play you that new song I wrote all about you. It's called, 'Mary-Sue, you're my hero.'"

I rolled my eyes, sighing frustratingly. Since when could Johnny play the guitar? Or even sing? Or afford a guitar in the first place!

A few girls in front us turned around in their seats and swooned over his voice. They all began to cheer after Johnny was done with his song and said, "you should join our band! We can travel the world!"

Johnny thought about it for a bit then asked, "what are you called?"

"Chick Chick Chicken Tonight. But if you joined, we'd be the Johnny and the Chick Chick Chicken Tonight's. What do you say? Will you join us?" 

"Johnny…" Mary-Sue, pouted sadly, and fluttered her eye lashes.

"I'm sorry girls, but there's only room in my heart for one Mary-Sue," he put his arm around Mary-Sue and she giggled once again.

They all grumbled sadly, and turned around, sighing, "it was a stupid plot line anyway, I guess."

But beside those few girls in that band, were a red head and her friend. 

Dally stood up, "I'm going to go get drinks for us all, you guys want a drink?"

I nodded, and so did Mary-Sue. She then looked over at Johnny, "aren't you thirsty?"

"Yes… but I have no money."

She smiled sympathetically, and reached into her bra to get her money, "don't worry, I've got plenty of cash."

She then handed Dally her change, "with my coke, I'd also like a popcorn."

Dally nodded and walked away. Johnny began crying and I patted his shoulder to comfort him in a friend way not a gay way.

Mary-Sue also patted his shoulder, "we all know you're poor, Johnny. But it's nothing to be ashamed of, we love you for who you are. And also, so what if you're parents hit you? Or neglect you? What only matters is that we're the ones who care for you."

"And who cares if you have a small dick, plenty of girls will still want you. Namely, Ponyboy." Two-Bit said, sitting down at this moment, beside Mary-Sue.

"I'm not gay!" I protested.

Two-Bit put his arm around Mary-Sue and flirted with her.

"Great boobs."

"Thankyou!"

"I love blondes, did anyone tell you? Yep, I love 'em a whole lot! Hell, I wouldn't even look twice at a girl who ain't blonde! Dang, I'm so attracted to blondes- and only blondes, that I found myself a little attracted to Sodapop once… damn, that boy has some mighty nice blonde hair!"

The red head's friend turned around, who happened to be a brunette, "hey, I know you! You're from my school! I'm Marcia, aren't you Two-Bit…"

"Get the hell away from me!" He yelled, standing up and shrieking, "you're not blonde!" He stood up on his chair, shaking violently with fear, "…you hear stories about people meeting people who aren't blonde, and actually getting along with them. I laughed it off thinking, 'yeah, that'd never happen to me.' But it did. I'm standing here, being looked at by a girl without blonde hair. And… I'm so scared," a tear ran down his cheek. "Help!" He screamed, "somebody help! Get this girl some peroxide for gods sake!"

"Look, calm down," she said, staring at him strangely, "I was just making small talk is all."

Two-Bit, squeezed his eyes shut, holding out the cross, "away from me, you non-blonde evil beast! I could never be attracted to you! NEVER! Go straight back to hell from where you came!"

"Freak," she said, standing up and walking away. The red headed girl beside her also got up to follow, but her arm knocked Dally on his way back, causing him to spill the drinks on himself and also on her.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, "that was my fault."

He got a napkin to help dry her off, and she smiled, welcoming the gesture, but Johnny stood up stopping him, "leave her alone, Dal."

Dally glared at him, surely Dally would have punched anyone whoever tried to tell him what to do… and this time was no exception.

He dropped the napkin, tightened his fist and was about to hurl it straight into Johnny's face, when Mary-Sue shook her head, "no."

Dally then lowered his arm, and nodded sadly, "you're right. Fighting is wrong on all levels and I'm glad you have shown me the way, Mary-Sue. From now on I shall use words, instead of violence to solve my problems, because that is what truly makes a man."

"I'm very proud of you," Mary-Sue smiled.

"WHAT!" I yelled, standing up, "I hate this! I hate you, Mary-Sue! And I hate everything! I'm leaving!"

I stormed out of there. I was just sick of everything. I was sick of Mary-Sue and her stupid "rebellious" sister, how much everyone loves Mary-Sue and how they all think she's so perfect. I also hate it what stereotypes my friends have all become ever since she arrived! I have to get out of town or something… find me a place where no Mary-Sue's are. A place of peace and quiet and exciting story lines without romance.

As I walked away I heard Two-Bit crying softly and he say barely above a whisper, "I see non-blondes…." I rolled my eyes.

I left the drive-ins and walked home, somehow walking straight into the lot.

I saw a few girls there all huddled together and giggling. I wondered for a moment whether this was some lesbian slash when I remembered there is no lesbian slash on this site.

I hadn't noticed how long I had been staring at them till they walked over to me and began talking to me, wheeling over a table with a glowing box on it as they went.

"Ponyboy!" A blonde grinned, "we have been expecting you!"

"You have?" I asked, confused. The blonde and her 3 friends smiled, nodding.

"We have come to introduce… fan fiction to you!" The blonde girl grinned excitedly as she bounced up and down, pointing the computer. The 3 other girls clapped, and wolf whistled.

"I'm sure you're wondering what the hell that is," she smirked.

"No," I shook my head, "we were introduced to it a long time ago… where the hell is that thing plugged into!" I looked around.

"Uh…" the 3 girls said, now confused as to what to do. "Well… we'll show it to you, anyway!"

"Yes, anyway!" They giggled.

They sat me down on a chair in front of the glowing box and flicked through some stories.

"By the way, my name is Gidangowin," the blonde introduced herself, "these are my friends. But you may refer to us all as the must-be-high's."

"Why are you called the must-be-high's?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

Gidangowin…who the hell name's there kid that! Gidangowin, shrugged, "no idea. Hey, why don't you read our favourite stories!"

She quickly clicked on them and I read them through. After a few stories she turned the box off and grinned, with her friends, "so! Aren't they great!"

"No," I said, shaking my head, dumb founded, "it was quite obviously the author placing herself into all those stories and making herself the main character of it, with an unrealistic portrayal of herself as some beautiful, perfect girl who me and my friends all love and somehow she can fight off like 9 socs. How could you possibly read that! What's so appealing about reading page after page of how 'perfect' this chick was!"

The must-be-high's lips all trembled and there eyes all filled with tears. Gidangowin stepped forward though, taking in deep breaths to calm herself. She then glared at me, "how dare you say that! Those stories are all very well written and are very entertaining! And, we all have stories up there about some random girl mysteriously coming into town too!" Her friends nodded.

"You're just a jerk," she glared, "a mean old nasty pants, that's what you are! You obviously can't appreciate a good story when you come across one, because I'm not easily entertained, but these stories keep me exhilarated at every last word!… My god… is that grass! Look how green it is!"

Her face brightened up into a wide smile and she layed on the ground, tilting her head in pure wonder, "I have to watch it grow!"

Her friends squealed excitedly, laying beside her, "this is so much fun!" "Look it's growing!" Another screamed, "more more! I must have more!" The girls continued screaming how great it was, and that's when I decided to slowly back off and make a run for it down the street.

When I got home, Johnny and Mary-Sue were waiting for me on the porch.

"Are you okay?" Mary-Sue asked.

I glared at her, but had forgotten what I was mad about, so I started a new argument, "why haven't your parents called you! Don't they care about you at all!"

"No…" she said, her eyes watering with tears, "they never cared. I guess that's why they were so glad to get rid of me…"

Sodapop then walked out onto the porch and picked up a basket at the door, with blankets, clothes, and various jams inside, "oh, look Mary-Sue! Another gift basket from your parents! And there's a little card inside! It says, 'to Daisy-Sue and Mary-Sue, we both miss you very very much and we wish terribly that you would come home soon. We love you with all our hearts."

"Those cruel heartless bastards," Johnny sighed, shaking his head.

Mary-Sue nodded, sobbing, "they were always mean like that! I bet they only wrote that because the bar was closed at the time!"

Sodapop hugged her, and she cried into his chest. "Come on," he cooed, "let's go inside." He then noticed me, "hey, Ponyboy." Then him and Mary-Sue walked inside.

"You aren't mad with me are you, Ponyboy?" Johnny asked, searching my eyes with worry.

I smiled at him, "no, Johnny. You're my bestfriend, I could never get mad at you. I'm just a little irritated lately how much you've ignored me ever since Mary-Sue came along."

Johnny stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder, "I'm so sorry…" Then he pressed his lips to mine!

I pushed him away violently, staying at him in disgusted shock.

That's when Steve came out and wrapped his arms around us, smiling, "oh, golly I knew it." He then pushed us inside, "everyone, Johnny and Ponyboy are together!"

"We are not!" I yelled.

Steve laughed, "oh, Pony, you weren't fooling anyone. "the sunsets, the drawings, that magazine of naked men under your bed."

"I told you I don't know how it got there!"

"Either way," Darry said, kneeling down beside me and then hugging me, "we don't care if you like boys. Even if this is a time and society where it is 100 totally not accepted, and even if you are gay, they still didn't come out… oh and if you did- the teasing, the taunting, the constant beatings and ridicule. You were a disgrace and seen as dirt and even your own family and friends would definitely turn their back on you without a second thought. And the possibility of being a gay boy and turning your straight best friend into a gay guy too, was impossible. But we live by 21st century rules in this house, mister, so we accept you for who you are!"

"But I'm not gay!"

"Stop living this lie of yours!" Darry insisted, "come out! Set your soul free!"

"Set my soul free..? Look, I'm not interested in girls yet! Maybe next year! Sodapop was the exact same way!"

"But he has a girlfriend, now," Darry tilted his head, confused.

"But at my age he didn't!"

"But he still found girls attractive."

"I do too! The girl who looks good in yellow!"

"There is no…'girl in yellow'," Darry said, looking at me as if I were insane.

"Yes there is!" I said, "she's in one of my classes!"

"But when has anyone actually made reference to this girl in yellow you speak of Ponyboy? No one… except for that Don't Say It Out Loud story… but you were gay in that. So in fan fic… she does not exist."

"I'm sure some Mary-Sue has come along and made herself that girl in yellow!"

"Yeah, you would think that, huh?" Sodapop nodded, "guess none of 'em really thought of doin' that."

-Suddenly the Mary-Sue authors reading this ran off to quickly write themselves as the girl in yellow. The Mary-Sue fics multiplied considerably in large numbers and every Mary-Sue hater out there cursed Fragile-Ego's name for bringing it up.

Darry then looked up at the time, "it's past curfew, anyway!" He spun around to me, glaring and shouting, "where the hell were you! I was up all night worrying about you! You stupid idiot, you never ever think! I should give you away to a foster home! Is that what you want! To leave!"

"Darry!" Sodapop shouted, "he isn't late! He's in fact an hour early!"

I stared in shock at my brother, trying to feel my heartbeat return, and hope I didn't look as white as I felt.

He looked back at the clock, "oh right… day light savings. My bad… But damn you, Ponyboy, damn you! You head straight to bed since you have school tomorrow and I swear to god, if you don't get your homework done and get all A's, I'm sending you away!"

"Why are you yelling at him?" Sodapop asked, a little scared.

Darry glared at him, "I DON'T KNOW! I'M GOING TO BED! THE REST OF YOU, I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, BASTARDS!" He stormed off dramatically.

I shook my head, "Fragile-Ego has really lost all grasp of his character…"

Mary-Sue then began to whimper. We all turned and stared at her, but she ran out the door crying.

Me and Johnny looked at each other concerned, but in a you-do-know-we're-not-dating way, and then chased after her.

I hate her, I really do. But I wasn't that cold hearted to just leave her out there in tears.

Damn, she was a fast runner though! She ran so fast that she blew the trees down. Me and Johnny had to jump into some random car along the street and speed after her but she was still too quick. Damn, I forgot Mary-Sue had super fast speed. She made us follow her all the way to the park!

She stopped on the old play set and cried.

Me and Johnny somehow sat beside her, "what's wrong?"

She sniffed and whipped away her tears, "she tried her best damnit at trying to get Darry down! I mean god, how else was he meant to react at being woken up late at night when he had work in the morning! Wasn't like he was going to take Curly's hand and skip to the car, with all smiles!"

"I know, but you must let it go. But, like I said before, nobody cares about reading about her. And this isn't funny at all, we should really get moving onto the jokes."

"Oh, what jokes!" Mary-Sue cried, "this has just been crap after crap! She's quite obviously running out of cliché's and random insanity to do!"

Johnny smiled, "no she's not, don't worry!" That's when Johnny slipped on a banana peel and fell onto the ground, "silly me!" He chuckled.

"See!" Mary-Sue cried, "that wasn't funny! And she's already stretching it with the socs-rape joke!"

"Shh, that wasn't her best one, but I assure you she still has lots of jokes," I comforted her.

She smiled at me, "really?"

"Yes," I nodded.

That's when an unexpected exciting plot twist happened… the socs arrived in a car! Coincidently just like the Outsiders book!

They got out, smelling of alcohol and possibly something else.

"Well," Bob said stepping forward, "you know what greaser's are? White trash with… possibly greasy hair and non-rich families."

"Well you know what socs are!" Mary-Sue stepped forward, "white trash with mustangs and whatever the hell Madres are… if that is that right word!"

"I was going to say that!" I yelled at her, "you stole my line!"

"I did not! How was I supposed to know you were going to say that!" She said, as she hid The Outsiders behind her back, "it was just a strange coincidence!" I sighed frustratingly.

Bob then grinned drunkenly, "greaser bashin' time."

He grabbed me and pushed me into the fountain. I struggled but his friends came and also held me beneath the water. I'm dieing, I thought, as my vision became a red hazy blur.

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I woke up coughing up water. I turned on my side and what I saw almost made me sick.

Mary-Sue was here and it hadn't all just been a dream.

But then I turned over onto my other side and saw Bob, laying in a pool of blood. I got up and threw up, and when I came back I walked over to Mary-Sue and Johnny.

"What happened!" I asked, panicking.

Mary-Sue got up and hugged me tightly, "oh, you're okay! Thank god!"

"What happened!" I repeated, pushing her away.

Johnny stared at his blood covered knife, "I… I…"

I looked over at Bob and noticed several holes in his body, quite obviously done only by a switchblade.

I looked back at Johnny. "what happened!"

Johnny sighed, "I've got Bob's blood on my knife… I shouldn't have stabbed him so many times."

"Stop changing the subject," I said, "what happened!"

"Johnny killed Bob," Mary-Sue said.

"Why, Johnny, why!" I yelled.

"After it looked like you were dead from drowning in the fountain… well he went near Mary-Sue."

I narrowed my eyes, "what had you been doing when I was being drowned!"

"I was discussing politics with Mary-Sue…" he said, a little embarrassed.

My jaw dropped.

"But after that," she said," they came after me. I held them off the best I could, but I didn't have my switchblade and I couldn't find a broken bottle, so I just used my sock."

"You're sock?"

Johnny nodded, "she was amazing, Ponyboy. But eventually you passed out so the rest came after her. So to protect her I killed Bob."

"We have to get out of here," I said.

"But where!" Mary-Sue asked.

"To Dally's!" Johnny said, grinning, "he'll know what to do!"

So we ran off to Dally's… which was actually Buck's.

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"What?" Dally answered the door. The 3 of us stood there, cold and frightened.

"Johnny killed Bob," Mary-Sue said.

"Really?" Dally said, quite surprised. "You better come in then. And Ponyboy why you wet? You too Mary-Sue?"

I jumped when I saw she was dripping wet too. "How!" I asked, shocked.

Johnny answered me. "She dove in after you when I killed Bob. She saved you."

"Dove in? I was in a shallow fountain? How is that possibly?"

"I swam all over it too, and couldn't find you till it was almost too late," she said, then sighing happily, " but I found you in the end and pulled you back to shore."

"What?"

"You 3 better come inside," Dally said, pulling us in.

"SURPRISE!"

Inside was a massive crowd of people and they all jumped up, grinning like idiots. They were holding balloons and threw confetti. Also there was a big banner up saying, "Happy Surprise Birthday Party, Mary-Sue!"

"You guys!" She grinned, modestly, "you shouldn't have!"

I looked around confused. That's when Bob emerged from the crowd, completely alive and un harmed. He laughed, "we faked the whole death! Johnny was in on it too!"

"I was so scared," I said, "why would you do something that horrible?"

"For Mary-Sue of course," he smiled and hugged her, "happy birthday."

I groaned, and walked away. I sat at the bar and Buck walked over, cleaning a glass with a white towel. "Can I just have a glass of something strong?" I asked, sighing.

Buck flung the towel over his shoulder and shook his head, pointing at the sign for minimum age drinking. "Ponyboy, you know I can't."

"Nobody has to know," I pleaded.

"Darry would kill me. Besides… this isn't a bar."

"What?" I said, confused. I turned around in my bar stool and looked around, "what the hell is this place then!"

"A big house for partying? I'm not sure myself. I don't think anyone really is. Hell, it might be a bar?"

"That's just stupid!" I scowled.

He shrugged, "I'm just happy to actually be around when complete strangers from the street walk onto my property. I mean, the least they could do is come find me and say, 'hey, buck.' Instead it's just, 'we're here, lets find a room!' You know this is probably the first time I've actually appeared at my own home!"

Mary-Sue walked up to me, smiling, "I'm about to blow out the candles to my birthday cake."

"So?"

"Well I'm just hoping that the wish I'm going to make will come true."

"'kay…"

"You know what I'm going to wish for?" She smiled, fluttering her eye lashes.

"A sequel?"

"No, silly," she giggled, "for you to give me just one kiss."

I rolled my eyes, "my god, how cliché was that!" I stood up and yelled sarcastically, "raise your hand if you weren't expecting that!"

The must-be-high's jumped up and down with their hands in the air, "I did NOT see that one coming!" "What an original and exciting twist!" "I had no idea those two were going to hook up, though it was categorised under their names!" "More, more! I must have more!"

They continued to squeal excitingly. I tilted my head, staring at them. Mary-Sue snapped me out of it though and smiled, "so?"

"No."

"Aw, come on, Ponyboy," Buck said, grinning, "can't hurt."

"Yes, it will!" I shrieked, "nobody said anything about romance in this story!"

"Well, honestly, from the moment I met you guys I didn't think at all that I would hook up with any of you," Mary-Sue said, twirling her hair.

I glared at her, "yeah…"

Buck then shrugged, and said carelessly while staring at the bottom of the glass, "guess the rumours were true about you, Ponyboy, and you are gay."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "go and blow those candles out, Mary-Sue."

"How sweet!" The must-be-high's chanted, "you go, Ponyboy! I love Mary-Sue, she's the most original character I've ever met!"

Mary-Sue dragged me over to her cake where everyone was surrounded. She bent over it and her top caught on fire.

She screamed, but someone threw a glass of water on her, so only her top burnt away.

She giggled, "Isn't that oh so funny and embarrassing! I'm left in only my bra now!"

"My god, that was hilarious!" The must-be-high's laughed, "you're so funny!" "Poor, Mary-Sue… but how exciting is that!"

"Will someone shut them up?" I asked absently.

Mary-Sue closed her eyes, and then blew out the candles. Everyone cheered for her and then she grinned at me, "ready."

"Whatever…"

She stepped close to me and then placed her lips on mine. But as soon as they met mine I backed off yelping, "ow!"

I touched my lips gingerly, "you sparked me!"

"Yes, that would be the fireworks," she smiled, tilting her head.

"Huh!"

She hiccupped and a butterfly flew out her mouth, "wow, it's gonna take me a while to get the rest of them out."

"Ponyboy Curtis!"

I turned around and Bob was pushing through the crowd. Oh no, I thought.

"That's my ex girlfriend you just kissed!" He growled, grabbing me by the collar.

"I didn't want to! Honest!" I struggled against him but his arm was holding on too tight.

"You'll pay for that!" He growled, and he put up his fist.

THE END FOR THIS CHAPTER!

"Ohmigosh, cliffhanger!" a must-be-high gasped, "no you can't just end it there! I must know what happens!" "Does Ponyboy eventually come to like Mary-Sue, oh god, please say he does!" Another began to cry, "I just want them to get together sooo badly!" "Mary-Sue is so cool, gosh if only I were like her… which reminds me about a new story I'm writing."

"SHUTUP!" Ponyboy yelled angrily at them.

"How rude…" they shook their heads. "I know…"

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So, that's it for this chapter. Hope you liked. Wasn't my best chapter, but I had to rush it by the end. Hopefully you all found it funny, I got a pretty funny joke I was gonna put in this one, but I thought I should probably put it in the next chapter.

I do have lots of material left to work with… it's makin' it into a joke which is so hard!

P.S The fan fiction introduction was not to actually make fun of the people who have wrote those stories, as I like one of the authors heaps. But it was more just so I could introuduce the Mary-Sue readers.


	7. Hitchhiker's Guide to Hitchhiking

**Sorry so much for not updating! **But I believe life takes on many forms, and no matter what it ends up, it crosses my path and ends up screwing me over. So… yeah, rather than bore you I'll just move on…

**THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! **I love getting a review, which makes me smile or laugh, it truly brightens my day. So thanks heaps, and especially getting this story over 100 reviews, on only 6 chapters! **WWWOOOOOOOOOOOO! -Releases the doves-**

P.S My brother made up the rap while angry with one of his friends. Well if you can even call it a rap.

PP.S The story was rushed, and you can horribly, horribly tell! **I'm sorry to the Goths I offended. I know not all of you are attention-seeking losers and go Goth for other reasons. **Actually I'm sorry to everyone I offended, 'cause this chapter I guess is quite offensive…

PPP.S **PRESS BACK NOW! This chapter contains mild swearing and one big swear word! I'VE WARNED YOU! THIS CHAPTER IS NOT SUITABLE FOR AGES THAT… I'M NOT SURE WHAT AGE YOU HAVE TO BE, BUT IF YOU'RE WORRIED RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO YOUNG TO READ THIS!**

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"Ponyboy Curtis!"

I turned around and Bob was pushing through the crowd. Oh no, I thought.

"That's my ex girlfriend you just kissed!" He growled, grabbing me by the collar.

"I didn't want to! Honest!" I struggled against him but his arm was holding on too tight.

"You'll pay for that!" He growled, and he put up his fist.

It was all so quick, I had no time to react… unless you call staring at his fist dumbly a reaction. His arm hurled back, and then pushed forward. Shoot…

Then he was hugging me! I don't even know how that was possible considering how he was holding me, the angel of our bodies, where his fist went, why he thinks hugging me will make me pay… all really stupid stuff like that, that you would typically see in the next chapter after a cliff hanger.

"I'm just so happy, Mary-Sue has found the love of her life!" He hugged me tighter till I could feel my chest caving into itself. "Bob…" I sputtered out, "too tight."

"Which is why," He grinned, letting go of me and stepping back, "we set up this other party!"

Everyone cheered as a new banner came out saying 'CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW ROMANCE!'

I looked over at Sodapop, who didn't seem to mind at all. If anything he was clapping along with everyone and wiping away tears of joy.

"I've got to be on some sort of candid camera show…" I sighed frustratingly, shaking my head. Mary-Sue ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Isn't it great, Pony! We can now finally be categorized in the romance section! Any day now this story may just hop up to R rated… or the stupid new M rated."

"Yeah… any day or any year! I'm 14, I'm not ready to sleep with anyone! Hell, I've just started growing hair in mysterious places!" I pushed her off me, "And even if I was going to, it wouldn't be with you! 'Cause I hate you and we're not together!"

The smile faded from her face, and tears began to start in her blue, always twinkling eyes. She ran out of the place crying. Everyone watched her leave, and as quick as a flash they were all gone, chasing after her with endless supplies of tissues, flowers and chocolates. They jumped out of windows and smashed through the doors, women included.

All that was left, was Johnny and me.

"Y'all must be downright crazeh, to pass up a mighty fine gal like young miss, Mary-Sue, Ponehboy."

"She just annoys me, okay? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings but it's hard to get stuff through to her sometimes."

"Why golie, Ponehboy, heck I understand. But if I a were hankerin' in your shoes, shoot! There'd-a- be noway I'd pass up a tuff doll like that."

It's then that I furrowed my brow in confusion, "why are you talking like that?"

"I is just talkin' like any other regular boy if he were portrayed by the stereotypical mind of some author on fan fiction… savvy?"

"Um… okay."

"Why slap ma ankles and butter that bread!"

"I'm not quite sure what you're talking about… but let's go outside and see Mary-Sue." My god, I never thought I would say that.

We walked outside and it was nighttime, if you had forgotten that from the last chapter. Everyone was gone, except Mary-Sue who sat on the sidewalk, crying into her arms that rested on her knees which were bent up to her chest while her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders and back with curls randomly all over and her feet were getting cold and she had cried an exact amount of 15 tears while she sighed and looked back on the love of her life, Ponyboy and sighing again and then flicking her hair and then realizing she quite felt like a cheeseburger and then licking her lips and then remembering Ponyboy again and then crying once more… but when it comes to describing Mary-Sue, grammar no longer applies.

Johnny and me sat beside her and she tensed up. "Leave me alone," she sobbed. I felt so bad for making her cry again… at least I think I've made her cry before. It's so hard to keep track with what I've already done in the last few chapters.

I put my arms around her… I know, I know, DISGUSTING! Sorry, I'm still a little frustrated over meeting her, her moving in, us somehow ending up here beside the road, ya know?

"I'm sorry," I said softly, "but I just don't like you that way. It's nothing against you… I'm just really not into girls yet… OR GUYS!" I shot a glare at Johnny.

"Aw, shucks," he pouted.

"Oh, okay, I understand," she said, tilting her head up towards me. She wiped her eyes and smiled.

I sat back from her, "so are we gonna go home?"

"It's far away, Pony, we should hitch a ride." Mary-Sue suggested, stretching out her legs.

"Tuff, shoot, dang, I agree," Johnny nodded.

Before we could stand though a car pulled up in front of us. It was a blue Mustang.

**The Hitchhiker's Guide to Hitchhiking… in the world of creating alternate stories about the book, 'The Outsiders'**

_Mustang. Found under the category for cars which were driven in the 60s and was also mentioned in the book, 'The Outsiders.' This brand of car is often brought up in what is known as fan fiction, and the car is often driven by a, 'soc.' Though not unusual to be driven by an, 'original character' who is a greaser, although a greaser surely could not afford one if they can't even afford nice shoes. Mustangs only ever seem to appear in blue. _

The window was undone and a boy popped his head out. He was a very good-looking boy, from the point of view of a straight boy. His hair was dyed blue and was messed up all over the place… sexily. His eyes were bright green and were very hypnotizing. His body, looked well built and toned beneath his thin black clothing, and I just wanted to tear it off and… why am I describing him like this! Wait… that means he could only be…

"Hey, I'm Gary-Stu," the boy grinned, his tongue ring flashing behind his teeth. "Hey, Mary-Sue." He waved at her.

_Gary-Stu. An original character added by the author who is re-telling any story. It implies for all male-added characters that like their female counter parts are perfect. Very handsome, smart, witty and have an endless supply of girls drooling over their looks and how 'cool' they are. It doesn't matter what they say or do because the other characters will worship them for it. If a Mary-Sue added character could beat up 7 guys… just think what a Gary-Stu can do…_

"Hi," she waved back.

He continued, "you guys want a lift?" He got out the car and squatted down beside it. He gripped onto the hood and then after making a few grunting noises, lifted the car up over his head. "Get it! LIFT!" He grinned.

Mary-Sue and Johnny laughed, while I stared at him, shocked.

"You're so funny, Gary-Stu!" A girl said from inside the car that was being held over Gary-Stu's head, "and strong! And tough! And tuff! And hot! And sexy! And tuffy-tough!"

He put the car down and got back in, "so?" He asked Mary-Sue for her reply.

"Sure!" Mary-Sue exclaimed excitedly, before dragging me and Johnny into the car with her.

We piled into the backseat with me in the middle. The car smelled suspiciously like flowers and meadows for some reason? Gary-Stu revved the car for a moment and I heard a girl sigh. That's when I noticed the girl in the front seat. She was very pretty with long red hair, fair skin, and a pair of thin glasses.

"Who's the girl, Gary-Stu?" Mary-Sue saw her too.

"Oh," Gary-Stu grinned, turning his head so we could see him, "that's Vesna."

"Vesna," I said to myself, "that's an odd name."

Vesna turned around also now, "I know… but my parents wanted a name that probably wasn't around back then… I mean, now. A name that probably wasn't around now… in this state anyway."

"Gee whiz, I think it's groovy!" Johnny fluttered his eye lashes.

"_Groovy_?" I sneered at Johnny. Johnny smiled and nodded.

Gary-Stu then began to talk again, "yeah, she's a soc. I'm trying to teach her how to be pretty."

"I think she is really pretty," I said, without thinking. The girl blushed, and I did too.

"Ew," Mary-Sue screwed her nose up at me.

"Yeah," Gary-Stu laughed, "She wears glasses! Freak!"

"I know I am, Gary-Stu, that's why you're here to help me! God, I love you!"

"Whatever." He then turned around and grinned at us, "hear that? I said whatever. That totally proves how tuffing cool I am! Wanna hear me rap!"

"No… it's fine," I panicked

"It's so fine to go out and dine. Something something nine-"

"Please stop," I begged.

"I'm hot like a fire, which is what I don't desire, because I'm already what you wanna be, silly goose!"

"You suck!" I yelled.

"You keep puttin' me down, which is givin' me a frown. I'm considering becoming a clown…"

"SHUTUP!"

He then drove.

Driving… and they kept driving… Down a road… It was night… driving still… it was a nice night to be driving… the car needed a good drive… still driving… driving along… a road… driving… just driving… driving!

Yeah… I'm not good when it comes to describing driving scenes…

"Nice night to be driving," Gary-Stu commented, "down a road."

"Yes," we all said in unison.

"I hate awkward driving scenes," Vesna commented.

"You're so ugly!" Gary-Stu shook his head.

"Leave her alone!" I snapped.

"Gary-Stu, what's up with the hair and clothes… are you wearing makeup?" Mary-Sue butt in.

He turned around, and I jumped because his hair was now green. He rubbed his chin and then ran his other hand through his hair, "yeah… it's my new style. I call it wannabe-cool, or 'Goth'."

_Wannabe-cool, or 'Goth' is when teenagers feel that they are so depressed and disconnected with everyone, that they must dress completely in black and wear makeup… including the boys. Though the reason they become Goth or what Goth actually means, seems to change on a daily basis, the fact remains that they are all attention-seeking losers who think hating everything is cool… unless it is of course, the movie 'The Nightmare Before Christmas', which they think only they can like simply because it appears dark, when they can't see that the true meaning is about being yourself. A lot of young girls believe Goth is cool, therefore when they write a story, the Gary-Stu is a Goth… who listens to Simple Plan, Green day and Good Charlotte, when these aren't Goth… they're not even Punk. _

"Isn't life depressing, don't you just wanna end it all right now?" Gary-Stu sighed, and crossed his arms.

"Gary-Stu, you're on the wrong side of the road!" I yelled.

"Oh, sorry," he laughed, still not doing anything about it, "the author's Australian and forgets which side you yanks drive on."

"God!" I yelled. "WE GET IT! The author is Australian! She mentions it at least 3 goddamn times in each chapter! She's just as bad as those freakin' proud, patriotic American's!"

Gary-Stu smiled, "heh, yeah, silly American's with their Fahrenheit, and putting the month first whenever they write down the date, or… Captain Crunch…"

"You know, what I think is silly?" Mary-Sue added, "how much Australia kisses America's butt. I mean come on! I'm surprised we have England's flag in ours rather than America's! I will celebrate the day an ad comes on that doesn't mention how America tested it so it's great, or how a new show coming to our TVs is number one in America! If anything- I hate America!"

"Shh, Mary-Sue!" I said. I looked around uneasy. **She didn't mean that. Unless you wanted her to mean that, because nobody likes Mary-Sue. We love America. Especially since we're American characters. America rocks! And the author definitely wouldn't want to say anything to piss off an American, because as she and the entire world knows… don't fuck with America.**

As the car made a sharp turn off the road and drove through some park, Gary-Stu shrugged, "let's just see where it leads us."

Mary-Sue, Johnny and I screamed frantically as we drove through the park. "Gary-Stu, I'm scared!" Vesna covered her eyes, screaming.

"It's fun in a way. But being so dark inside, I find enjoyment from nothing… HEY!" He grinned, facing us, "anyone seen my new Jack Skellington t-shirt!"

"We're going to die!" I began to cry as the car speeded towards a tree.

Gary-Stu then nodded, "yes, finally we can end our miserable, pointless lives." He sighed and faced the wheel, "Ohmigod! We're going to hit that tree!" He grabbed the wheel and swerved quickly as he slammed on the brakes, a loud thump was heard, and then the car layed still. Thank god for seatbelts.

_Seatbelts… is there anything they can't do? _

We all panted, and slowly released the tight grip we had on the seats. Gary-Stu breathed a sigh of relief, "we could have died… I appreciate life so much more now… wait…"

"What is it, Gary-Stu?" Mary-Sue lent over the chair.

Tears formed in his eyes and he began to tremble, "please, god, no!" He reached under his seat and pulled out a doll. A Jack Skellington doll, but it had no head.

"NO!" He screamed, "why! Why my Jack Skellington doll, God! You should have taken me! My god, there's nothing left to live for!" He bashed his head on the wheel, crying, "you sick, jerk!"

"What is a Jack Skellington, Gary-Stu?" Mary-Sue asked.

"Only the best character ever!" He screamed. "Haven't you seen Nightmare Before Christmas! Oh! That's right! You non-Goth losers haven't travelled into the future yet have you!"

_The future. Whenever 'The Outsiders' travel to the future, it is either the 80s, or between the year 2000 to the year 2006. This is another way for authors to add 'original characters' and is often a stupid storyline because it takes away what made the Outsiders great. Similar to when the author sends themselves from that time era to the 60s… just as stupid, and just as boring. _

"Did anyone hear that thump?" I asked.

"Figgoly Giggoly Goo, I sure do," Johnny nodded.

"Did," Mary-Sue corrected him, "and yeah, I did too."

"Hold on," Gary-Stu said, shushing us, "look…"

We all looked at Vesna who had hit her head pretty badly on the dashboard. She rubbed her head, groaning softly. "Hey, what happened?" She questioned before raising her head.

We all gasped.

Her hair blew softly from the air conditioner (the car had one, you see, because it had travelled into the future- remember?), and she flicked over her shoulder as she fluttered her long lashes that only made her blue eyes sparkle even more, almost blinding us. She was so beautiful… and her body! Big breasts, small waist, and long legs- we had found the holy grail of all women. And possibly caused low self-esteem for the girls who are reading this and don't have these qualities since all Mary-Sue stories promote- if you don't have these you're not beautiful. Which we all know is true anyway.

"My god," Gary-Stu said, "I've done it!"

"All you did was almost get us killed!"

"But we survived didn't we? Sadly, Jack Skellington didn't… but in his memory, I shall make a tribute to him by rapping my tuffness."

"God, no!" I yelled, blocking my ears.

"Tuff, tuff, tuffity tuff, break it down!" He got out his guitar and began a solo, while also getting out his switchblade and randomly slashing it around.

"Let's get out!" I yelled, pushing Johnny out the door.

"My pillow is knitting!"

"Hurry!" I yelled, and shoved him.

Mary-Sue followed and that's when I saw someone… on the ground… beneath the wheel of the car!

"Ohmigod!" I yelled, pointing at the dead person, "it's Bob Sheldon!"

"Hmm… what an odd twist of fate," Mary-Sue tilted her head.

_Plot twists! They can happen at any moment and often leave the audience shocked. Yet in this case, the reader probably hasn't even made it this far because they have pressed the back button. Either way, this was no coincidence. The author originally intended to kill Bob last chapter, but after screwing that up, had to do it this chapter instead. Plot twists…_

"Gary-Stu, you hit-" I turned around, to see Gary-Stu lift the car up over his head and then run down the street.

"Bastard," I glared.

"Jinkers, gang, looks like we're gonna be blamed for this one," Johnny quivered.

"I agree," Mary-sue nodded. "We should see Dally."

I shook my head, "we can't!"

"Why not!" She protested.

"He's with Daisy-Sue!"

"So!" She yelled.

"Well… she's really annoying."

"I guess we'll just have to run then," Mary-Sue shrugged, "and besides, the chapter is running long enough as it is, so let's just skip to the train thing."

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"Look, the train to Coween is leaving, let's get on that!" I said, jumping up. Mary-Sue pulled me back down.

"No!" She ordered, "we're not getting on that one! We're going to go on the one to Windrixville!"

"Oh, look," Johnny laughed, "a black cat!" We watched suspiciously as a black cat walked past Johnny… and only Johnny.

"But I really feel Coween is the better one to go to," I explained.

"We're going to Windrixville!"

Birds swooped down at us, but then they flew up onto the Windrixville train. They were 7 black crows, and they all stared at Johnny.

"Don't 7 crows mean death?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm not superstitious," Mary-Sue said.

"Are they laughing at me?" Johnny furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Fine," I sighed, "we'll go there."

We all got up and ran over to the train. We got in and sat down, and that's when we heard a crack.

Johnny sat up and cringed, "damn! I sat on a mirror! That can't be good!"

"Yeah, you really smashed that thing," I agreed.

"And the fact that the shattered pieces spell, 'you are going to die, Johnny Cade' is pretty weird too." Mary-Sue took off her shoes, to relax.

I layed back and stretched out my arms. I can't believe we're on the run for a murder… Darry is gonna kill me!

"Are you Johnny Cade?"

We looked up to see someone in a black cloak, but his face was hidden away by the hood.

"Are you the train conductor?" Johnny asked, scared.

"Um… no," he said, then admired the long stick thing he held which had a long blade on it. I think whatever it was, it started with an S? Scythe?

"Well, yeah, I'm Johnny Cade."

The person revealed his hand, which had no flesh! He was a skeleton beneath that cloak! Either way, he checked his clipboard and smacked his head, "oh, gee, sorry! I'm early! I'll be back a week from now when you die in that burning church up on Jay mountain." He then left.

"Oh wait, sorry, I wasn't listening," Johnny said, looking around confused when he noticed the man was gone.

"He was too vague to understand anyway," Mary-Sue smiled.

"TOO VAGUE!" I screamed, "Johnny! He said you were going to die!"

"Pfft, don't listen," Mary-Sue giggled, "he's superstitious."

"This isn't superstition! He just said-"

"Superstition," Mary-Sue poked me.

"You know what? Whatever!" I yelled and crossed my arms.

The train started and we were training it down the rails.

"So… Mary-Sue, did you get everything we should need like I told you?" I asked.

She nodded, smiling, "sure did! I got the hairdryer!"

_The Hairdryer. The hairdryer can be used to dry hair. Although this isn't relatively important in the means of survival, it does help. This has been proven by shows where the character is either in jail or stranded on an island. Where do they plug it in though? Nobody knows… _

"WHAT!"

"Sleep now, Ponyboy and don't worry. Everything is going to be okay."

"Did anyone else just see the billboard that said, 'Johnny won't be though'?" Johnny asked.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. Why won't this story just end!

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That's it! For this chapter… Next chapter is going to be my favourite.

Sorry about how rushed Gary-Stu was, and I hope you weren't disappointed.

**Next chapter: While Ponyboy, Johnny and Mary-Sue are away, Two-Bit's sister comes in to fill the void in the Curtis household. **

Oh! And Daisy-Sue gets knocked up.


End file.
